Remembering Ralph....

I just ate my late dinner last night upon arriving from work & we’re (my mom & I) off to Ralph’s wake.
My four year-old inaanak who died of dengue just a week ago.
It’s just so sad that he have to die this way.
He’s an active, hyper, cutie, super-stouty kid.
Who surprisingly don’t visit me two Christmasses ago to claim his gift - and now it turned three.


To understand more of it, here is MedLine Plus basic facts on Dengue Fever.

OVERVIEW
Dengue fever is an infectious disease carried by mosquitoes and caused by any of four related dengue viruses.
This disease used to be called "break-bone" fever because it sometimes causes severe joint and muscle pain that feels like bones are breaking, hence the name.
Health experts have known about dengue fever for more than 200 years.

CAUSE
Dengue fever can be caused by any one of four types of dengue virus: DEN-1, DEN-2, DEN-3, and DEN-4.
You can be infected by at least two, if not all four types at different times during your lifetime, but only once by the same type.

TRANSMISSION
You can get dengue virus infections from the bite of an infected Aedes mosquito.
Mosquitoes become infected when they bite infected humans, and later transmit infection to other people they bite.
Two main species of mosquito, Aedes aegypti and Aedes albopictus, have been responsible for all cases of dengue transmitted in this country.
Dengue is not contagious from person to person.

SYMPTOMS
Symptoms of typical uncomplicated (classic) dengue usually start with fever within 5 to 6 days after you have been bitten by an infected mosquito and include:

High fever, up to 105 degrees Fahrenheit
Severe headache
Retro-orbital (behind the eye) pain
Severe joint and muscle pain
Nausea and vomiting
Rash
The rash may appear over most of your body 3 to 4 days after the fever begins.
You may get a second rash later in the disease.
Symptoms of dengue hemorrhagic fever include all of the symptoms of classic dengue plus marked damage to blood and lymph vessels.
Bleeding from the nose, gums, or under the skin, causing purplish bruises
This form of dengue disease can cause death.
Symptoms of dengue shock syndrome-the most severe form of dengue disease-include all of the symptoms of classic dengue and dengue hemorrhagic fever, plus fluids leaking outside of blood vessels.
Massive bleeding.
Shock (very low blood pressure).
This form of the disease usually occurs in children (sometimes adults) experiencing their second dengue infection.
It is sometimes fatal, especially in children and young adults.

DIAGNOSIS
Your health care provider can diagnose dengue fever by doing two blood tests, 2 to 3 weeks apart.
The tests can show whether a sample of your blood contains antibodies to the virus.
In epidemics, a health care provider often can diagnose dengue by typical signs and symptoms.

TREATMENT
There is no specific treatment for classic dengue fever, and like most people you will recover completely within 2 weeks.
To help with recovery, health care experts recommend
Getting plenty of bed rest
Drinking lots of fluids
Taking medicine to reduce fever
CDC advises people with dengue fever not to take aspirin, acetaminophen or other over-the-counter pain-reducing medicines are safe for most people.
For severe dengue symptoms, including shock and coma, early and aggressive emergency treatment with fluid and electrolyte replacement can be lifesaving.

PREVENTION
The best way to prevent dengue fever is to take special precautions to avoid contact with mosquitoes.
Several dengue vaccines are being developed, but none is likely to be licensed by the Food and Drug Administration in the next few years.
When outdoors in an area where dengue fever has been found
Use a mosquito repellant containing DEET, picaridin, or oil of lemon eucalyptus
Dress in protective clothing-long-sleeved shirts, long pants, socks, and shoes
Because Aedes mosquitoes usually bite during the day, be sure to use precautions especially during early morning hours before daybreak and in the late afternoon before dark.

Other precautions include:
Keeping unscreened windows and doors closed
Keeping window and door screens repaired
Getting rid of areas where mosquitoes breed, such as standing water in flower pots, containers, birdbaths, discarded tires, etc.

COMPLICATIONS
Most people who develop dengue fever recover completely within 2 weeks.
Some, however, may go through several weeks to months of feeling tired and/or depressed.



Marilou’s (Ralph’s mom) mundane activities of life instantly changed – even dramatically, upon the death of her son.
The world she once knew is now totally different.
There is now an emptiness that can never be completely filled.
And I totally understand her grief.
And eventhough she might return on the motions of living, I know acceptance of her child’s death will only come after many tears and many painful experiences.

The death of a child might never make any sense, but the ability to move beyond the death into a more hopeful living where joy returns is possible once the child’s death has become a reality.

Glimpses on the Wholeness of Life

"ONLY JESUS CAN GIVE WHOLENESS OF LIFE TO A BROKEN WORLD."

I was on the middle of Season 2 – Episode 7 of Grey’s Anatomy last night when I decided not to finish it ‘coz I have to attend a 6:45pm mass at EDSA Shrine.

Need not to mention, HE is of utmost importance that anyone’s anatomy in the world.

I was awed by Father Apacible’s homily.

He talked about on “What was of great importance: Fullness of Life, or Wholeness of Life?”

Haven’t asked that myself for quite a long time now.

So, am I full or am I whole?

Yeah, I’m full.

Full of worries, burdens, turmoil, trials and everything’s synonymous to that.





But come to think of it and advantageously speaking, I’m also full – full of loving & wonderful, true souls around me.

I’ve got my friends, family, workmates.

Most importantly, I am embraced by God’s loving, nurturing arms.

He listens deeply to the woundedness in me.

He gives me innate strength, wisdom, peace and understanding.

And I think, that alone made me whole.

For all we know, the beggars may got a far more whole life than us.

They don’t have to work till death.

They aren’t surrounded with insurmountable problems.

One has to find out the meaning of living, not merely giving an intellectual significance to it, but looking at what it means to live.

And one has also to go into this question of what love is.

This has to be examined in the conscious and the deep, hidden recesses of one's own mind.

One has to ask what order is, what living really means, and whether one can live a life of complete, total affection, compassion, tenderness and love.

And at the end of the day , it really is the ‘spiritual awareness’ that ultimately integrates all of life and makes it whole despite the pain, suffering, conflict & brokenness present throughout the world.

How To Recognize A Scorpio Woman

"Consider anything only don't cry . . ."


Rarely give herself away by blushing or flushing. By frowning or grinning.

Got steady, penetrating gaze..a foolproof identification of a Pluto personality.

Has a total ego. Insults roll right off her back, and compliments don't move her a fraction of an inch.

At best, she’'ll calmly agree with your appraisal; at worst, she'll suspect your motives.

Frosty & immobile on the outside. The poised surface calm of her character is carefully designed to hide the boiling inner nature.

Never flinch with embarrassment or swell up with pride. Reaction is always kept at a bare minimum.

Moves slowly but speaks rather quickly.

May even effortlessly move a few mountains out of her way to help along.

Generous.

Naturally attracts either fiercely loyal and dedicated admirers, or envious and spiteful enemies.

There’s a haunting sweetness & gentleness in her.

Can never slide deep enough into the slime of bitter depression.

Got a complete confidence in an inner ability to overcome any life’s blow.

Intensely loyal to friends.

Never forgets a gift or a kindness.

Also remembers an injury or an injustice but reacts differently.

Intensely curious about all phases of life and death.

Has the ability to conquer life and death’s secrets if she chooses.

Deeply interested in religion.

Powerfully emphatizes with human nature.

Also heroic, dedicated to ties of family and love, and gently protective of children and weaker souls.

She can be a saint or a sinner.

Can experiment with the darkest mysteries, or she can scathingly revile sin and decadence.

Fiercely possessive.

Takes control slowly, but very surely.

Magnetic, proud and totally confident. With deep and mysterious beauty.


But she has one secret regret. Unconsciously, she would prefer to be a man. Less restriction-more opportunity.


Pink is not her natural color. The true shade of her nature is dark maroon, or deep wine-red, not a female color at all.


Great at pretending to be a fragile, fluffy kitten. She purrs so contentedly most men guess she's an ultra-feminine. They topple into her trap and wake up later, sadder but wiser. She is no kitten.

Controls her desire to dominate, while she gives a glorious performance of womanhood.


You can give her a tumble, but she won't fall all over herself reacting to your overtures.

She’s a human X-ray machine.

She can hide her power of retaliation with a tremulous smile, gentle mannerisms, and the most breathless voice this side of an angel.

She can be overbearing and domineering, sarcastic and frigid- then turn as hot as an oven at 500 degrees Fahrenheit.

She can hate with bitter venom and love with fierce abandon.

She can shriek like a furious banshee or whisper like an affectionate turtle dove.

One thing you can be sure of- she's never wishy-washy.

The Scorpio woman has a disconcerting gift that can make icy shivers run up your spine. It's a peculiar form of black magic, and she weaves it so expertly it can seem like real witchcraft.

Because of her mystical sixth sense, she can often recognize a future mate at first glance, and somehow, she'll transfer this perception instantly.

She can't excuse weakness in a man. She looks for ambition and courage. She wants a mate who can dominate her and make her proud, without disturbing her secret individuality. He's expected to be strong and masculine.

A man with high degree of intelligence is required to match her own excellent mind, plus more than a passing acquaintance with abstract, philosophical wisdom.

Having once achieved closeness with a female Scorpio, you can be positive you're a unique and unusual man. You can also be sure that her love for you is unmatched by any you'll ever experience. You'll be the most important interest in her life. She'll boost you loyalty, and try to please you with passionate intensity.

It's impossible for her to be detached or casual. She seldom likes or dislikes a play, a book, religion, furniture or people. She either bitterly resents or she intensely worships.

Sometimes wanders into dangerous waters in her efforts to penetrate life.

There's not the slightest trace of fear in her.

Tasted a variety of experiences to savor the knowledge. But she can mysteriously emerge from all her explorations above suspicion, and still superior to almost every other woman you know.

Keeper of quite a few secrets.

There's a private part to this woman you'll never touch, a part of her mind and soul that belongs strictly to her, and there's absolutely no trespassing there.

She's not untruthful, in fact she's more oftien too brutally honest, yet there will always be those special thoughts and feelings she won't confide to you or anyone else.

Incredibly loyal to those she finds strong and deserving, but the weak ones will never be honored by her glance.

Her dignity in human relationships can make her seem aloof and snobbish.

Highly selective in friendships. They'll keep the worthy companions through an entire lifetime, and freeze the shallow, the common or the unworthy.

Got an immense store of perseverance and determination.

Despite her own strong individualism, the typical Scorpio girl will let her man be the boss. Instead of overshadowing him with her force and drive, she'll apply her talents to help him attain his goals. Your happiness will always come first.

Unreasonably suspicious.

There's no one she can't see through, no deception that escapes her.

Her sense of justice is as strong as the sense of revenge.

A Scorpio woman will sometimes nearly drown you in her passion for living, yet in a real storm, her cool, calm reason and steely strength will be a life raft. Though she works her magic in strange and secret ways, her haunting eyes will always gaze at you with basic honesty, even while she remains just beyond the reach of human understanding. She's a little dangerous, perhaps, but undeniably exciting. Let other husbands cope with the flighty girls. You've known the compelling mystery of a lovely witch who brews a pretty good cup of tea and never bums your toast. (Well, almost never.) When the cup is empty, let her read the tea leaves for you. She can-if she wants to.


Lastly, take her or leave her. You'll probably take her. It's almost impossible to leave her. If nothing else, she'll haunt you for the rest of your life.

Have A Nice Day!

Have a Nice Day - is commonly spoken valediction. Typically spoken by retail employees or clerks to customers after a sale. However in Britain or Australia it is sometimes regarded as an expression of insincerity, its use can annoy people.
It is associated with the smiley, a representation of smiling face.

Source: Wikipedia


Such a simple saying, right?
Sometimes it's spoken with a smile, at times with a smirk.
But just the same, it's always spoken.
More often than not, it is a pleasant gesture made by someone who cares bout you.
But other times, it's a meaningless formality spoken by someone who just took your tip at the restaurant.

When my friend Olive says, "Have a nice day!" which she does all the time (awww, I really terribly miss her..), I know it's a pleasant gesture.
I know she means it and she genuinely cares about what happens to me.
That twinkle in her eye announces that she really wants me to have a nice day.
I felt loved with this reminder that another person wishes me well...
It gives my day an added boost and energy.
It keeps me going when in fact I'm having a bad day.

While "Have a nice day" version of the expression is spoken by a teller who just finished your bank transactions, the words come out in a monotonous programmed formality.
The words are spoken at you, not to you.

To the countless others who mindlessly utter it all the time, in a strange and comforting way, it's nice to know that they care enough to pretend they care when in fact they really don't care all that much.

Still on the book 'Transitions', it apparently belived that "Have a nice day" is one of those little indications that we do care, even if only slightly, about one another's welfare.
It has taken it's place for a time in the storehouse of phrases we use for civility's sake.
And on at least one occasion, it brought unexpected laughter in a time of a tragedy.

Have a nice day peeps! :-)

Special Sauce

Got this somewhere...
Kinda long but definitely a good read.
Lucky for those who have waited...to have their special sauce served!


I was sitting at the drive-through window at McDonald's this weekend (ok, I eat out a lot). I did the usual thing, I drove up to the menu and ordered.

I proceeded to the first window and paid, then drove to the second window and waited for the order. After sitting there for a few minutes, the clerk slid back the window and asked, "Will you please pull over to the side; your order is not ready."

I was a little upset and even impatient, but I pulled over and waited. I thought, "How come other folks ordered and drove straight through and I have to wait?"

I waited for another two or three minutes - it seemed like hours - before the clerk finally ran out, tapped on the window, and handed me the order.

Of course I asked, "Hey, what took so long?" She replied, "You wanted the Special Sauce, which meant it had to be especially made for that sandwich, it doesn't usually come with that one."

This scene is a reflection of our prayer life. We make our request to the Lord. Our menu is His Word, where He has listed promise after promise. We stand before Him and request and plead and, sometimes, even beg. We go to the "first window" and pay, sometimes with fervent prayer, sometimes with prolonged suffering, sometimes with obedience, and sometimes not at all.

We then move to the "second window" and wait for our order. If God doesn't answer within a few minutes, we become upset. You know the phrase, "Jesus, it's 5:00 p.m. Friday; I prayed to You yesterday, and You still haven't answered. I can't wait much longer."

Why is it taking Him so long? I've seen people drive up before me and they received their orders right away! We even go so far as to tap on thewindow and ask if He has forgotten our order.

We become impatient.

We become upset.

We become downright mad.

"Lord I asked for a mate ten days ago and I don't see him/her anywhere."

"Lord, I've been asking for a new job for two years; others have passed me by."

"I've been waiting on a financial blessing for ten years and I still have more month than money."

"Where are You and why haven't you blessed me?"

And just when you think He is giving you the answer, He pulls back the royal curtain of Eternity, and states, "Please pull over to the side and wait a while longer."

This once frustrated me to no end, made me mad, made me want to give up, made me want to holler; that is, until the clerk brought out my sandwich
-
then, the revelation became clear.

Do you know why the Lord has put you on the side?
Do you know why you have had to wait for this blessing longer than before?
Do you know why He has put you through more this time than ever?
Do you know why it seems as though He has not heard you and He does not care?
Do you know why it seems like you have had to go through more tears, more pains, and more struggling this time?

Because this blessing is a Special Sauce Blessing!

This is an Overflowing, Pressed-Down, Shaken Together, Blessing!

You made a Special Order and God has been putting together a Special Sauce Blessing for you and He has to prepare it for you!

That mate you wanted . . .
He's putting together a Special Sauce!

That job you wanted . . .
He's putting together a Special Sauce!

That financial blessing . . .
He's putting together a Special Sauce!

That peace on the job . . .
He's putting together a Special Sauce!

That house . . .
He's putting together a Special Sauce!

That deeper anointing . . .
He's putting together a Special Sauce!

That promotion . . .
He's putting together a Special Sauce!

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end . . ."
[and a Special Sauce].
(Jeremiah 29:11)

How many people have driven away before the clerk brought their food, and how many people have missed their blessings because they did not wait?

Hang in there. Keep on waiting. You made a Special Order, now wait on a God's Special Sauce!

"But they that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary, and they shall walk, and not faint."
(Isaiah 40:31)

They who wait shall receive a Special Sauce!

P.C.

Stands for Peachy Centeno?
Hell, no!
I was reading the book 'Transitions' when I came across an article by William Lutz entitled "Double Talk."
I became fascinated with the growth of new kind of euphemistic language called "Politically Correct" or P.C.



Just for instance: in everyday usage, fat people may be called stout, stocky, overweight or heavy. But in P.C. language, they are considered: calorically disadvantaged; differently sized and are size-acceptance advocates.

Whereas pet is termed as: animal companions; friends or protectors.

Crippled is being described as: physically challenged; uniquely abled; differently abled; orthopedically impaired; or having differing ablities.

Blind may become differently sighted; visually impaired, print handicapped; or have reduced visual acuity.

People who stutter are called speech-impaired.

If you're never fond of the term 'senior citizen', then it's meaning will be certainly appreciated if we used 'chronologically gifted.'

To credit, many people who insist on P.C. language usage believe that changing our language can eventually change our thinking and thus our beahvior - thereby eliminating racism, sexism and all the other isms we deplore.

A Chance or A Choice

Got this from a friend's email, just wanna share...




When we meet the right person to love.
When we're at the right place at the right time.
That's chance.

When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's not a choice.
That's chance.

Being caught up in a moment (and there's a lot of couples who get together because of this) is not a choice.
That's also a chance.

The difference is what happens afterward.
When will you take that infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing attraction to the next level?
That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down and contemplate whether you want to make this into a concrete relationship or just a fling.

If you decide to love a person, even with his faults, that's not a chance.
That's choice.

When you choose to be with a person, no matter what, that's choice.





Even if you know there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter,
and richer than your mate, and yet, you decide to love your mate just the same, that's choice.

Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by chance.
But true love that lasts is truly a choice.
A choice that we make.

Regarding soulmates, there's a beautiful movie quote that I believe is so true about this: "Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen."

I do believe that soulmates do exist.
That there is truly someone made for you.
But it's still up to you to make the choice if you're going to do something about it or not.

We may meet our soulmates by chance, but loving and staying with our soulmate is still a choice we have to make.

peachy_when_pinched

I ended my ngarag workday last night by watchin’ episodes 5 & 6 of Grey’s Anatomy.
Tackling bout intimacy & responsibility consecutively. It’s kinda addicting, you know. I even stay up to past 7pm at office just to finish an episode or two. Since each lasted 45 minutes averagely. I enjoy Meredith Grey’s narration at the start & end of each episode.

Whoa, what a day! I still have migraine, cough & cold, huh! Deanne & I suspected that our yahoomail accounts got hacked yesterday! So, have to create a new one to re-connect with friends & workmates. You can’t guess it right dahlin' , but my new YM id is peachy_when_pinched.

I Owe It All To Mom

She's the one you knew would listen
And would always understand,
She's the one who stood beside you,
The one who held your hand.

She's the one who always cared for you
And cares and worries still.
She's the one you love with all your heart,
The one you always will.

It seems the more I see of life,
the more I am aware
That a Mom as wonderful as you
is really very rare.


~ Author Unknown ~

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"MOM"...

That little short word holds so much meaning.
It stands for love, caring, nurturing, friendship, a shoulder to cry on, a hand that brushes away a tear. Mom's are angels sent down from god to watch over us. They lend a listening ear, and always offer words of understanding.

"MOM"...

When I think of that word, the love in my heart spills over. You have shown me strength, courage and independence. I love the secrets we share, and the laughs we have. No greater friend could I have than you..."MOM". You are always there for me and never forsake me. Even when I made mistakes in my life, you still forgave me and stood by me.

As I grew, I realized the sacrifices you made, and all the things you did to make life good.

So, I owe it all to you today;

Your smile, your caring and love.

You have made me what I am today and I thank the Lord above..

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It’s your birthday, Mom.

So I will raise a cheer.

For without you, wondrous person,I would not be here.

Yes, I owe it all to you, Mom.

From the time that I was small.

You encouraged me in everything.

And tried not to let me fall.

Throughout my life your caring.

Brightened each and every minute.

You loved me and enriched my life.

And I’m so glad to have you in it!

Texts To Live By?

These are the texts from friends that worked for me. Have enlightened and comforted me..Made me think to change my life. And sometimes, in the darkest hours, stopped me from falling totally into despair. Thank you guys!


A lot of us have built dreams with people we hoped would be us forever…
Only to wake up in the world of reality that nothin’s permanent in this world..
Love comes & goes…
People stay & leave…
Life is a cycle…
Of finding & losing,
Of making & breaking,
Of living & dying…
That’s how reality bites….

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Don’t think too much the problems in life, they are just test papers given by God to see how much we learn in His subject called “life.” If you think you ‘ve failed…don’t worry cause He is always ready to give remedial classes. So review through prayers & have the perfect score of happiness.

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Life is too short. Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh when you can. Apologize when you should and let go of what you can’t change. Love deeply & forgive quickly. Take chances. Give everything but have no regrets. Life is too short to be unhappy. You have to take the good with bad. Smile when you’re sad. Love what you got. Always forgive & forget. Learn from your mistakes but never regret . People change & things go wrong. But always remember, life goes on….

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We always ask God to give us signs & miracles.
To enhance our faith…
It would be good to be aware that Jesus is the sign…
And you are the miracle…

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I asked God, “How do I get the best out of life?”
God answered: “Face your past without regret, handle your present with confidence, prepare for the future without fear.”
Then He added, “Keep the faith & drop the fear. Don’t believe your doubts & never doubt your beliefs. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.”

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You can't tap your back for a job well done.
You can't hug yourself for comfort.
And you can't cry on your shoulders when tears fall...
And this is why you have your friends in your life to let them do whatever you can't.

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God always says "YES" to our prayers.
It may not always be the Yes we want, but it will always be the Yes He knows best for us.
I just prayed for the best Yes for you.

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It is madness....
To hate all the roses because you got scratched with one thorn.
To give up on your dreams because one didn't come true.
To lose faith in prayers because one was not answered.
To give up on your efforts because one of them failed.
To condemn all your friends because one betrayed you.
Not to believe in love because someone didn't love you...

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We pass separate roads in life but we have a golden bridge called "PRAYER" that spans the river of time & links our lives together.

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Without a clue, I found you..
Without a clue, we became friends..
So when you feel there's nobody by your side & everybody leaves you behind...
You'll see me without a clue..
I'm standing next to you... c",)

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What is the secret of happiness?
I found the answer in my home.
The WALL says be strong.
The CEILING says aim high.
The DOOR says be open.
The WINDOW says learn to give & take.
The CLOCK says time is gold.
The CALENDAR says love everyday as if it were the last.
The CABINET says keep things in order.
The BED says take time to relax.
The LAMP says be the light.
And GOD who is found everywhere in my house says - "Keep the faith because I am with you."

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The point of prayer is not always to get answers from God.
But to have perfect & complete unity with Him.
So endure the day with prayers.

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Life is like having a cup of coffee.
You sit by the window, lift the cup & take a sip.
Only to realize that somebody forgot to put the sugar.
Too lazy to go for it, you somehow struggle through that sugarless cup.
Until, you discover undissolved sugar crystals sitting at the bottom.
That's how life is.
We sometimes forget to make an effort to value what is around us.
Look around, maybe the sweetness you are looking for is closer than you think.

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When rocks block your way & mountains make the going difficult...
Remember...a rock can be a stepping stone while a mountain give sthe most perfect view.
Walk in faith!

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Mornings are God's way of saying,
"One more time!
Live life.
Make a difference.
Touch hearts.
Encourage minds.
And inspire souls..."

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New pages of your life starts as you open your eyes.
God is the AUTHOR.
People are the READERS.
You are the WRITER!
Write a life that blesses the readers, and pleases the author.

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We always ask if there is still hope left
Or if there's still time..
But what we don't realize is:
"Hope only leaves when we doubt it, and Time only runs out the moment we Give Up."

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Friends are like pieces of puzzle.
If you lose one it will never be complete again.
Just want you to know you're one of the pieces I can't afford to lose.

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On Letting Go...

Holdin' onto stuff you'd like to be free of?

Whether it would be useless materials, emotional baggage or things not worth of your attention - its' time to give it a toss & start anew.

Those people with control issues might have a tougher time of "letting go."







We hold on to our desires.

We hold on to what we think we need.
We hold on to what promises us happiness.


We hold on to our possessions.
We hold on to our image of who we are
We hold on to our ideas of what is right.

We hold on to our theories.
We hold on to our beliefs.
We hold on to our attitudes.
We hold on to our judgements.

We hold on to the past
We hold on to the future.

We hold on to our grievances.
We hold on to our fears.
We hold on to our loves
We hold on to our lovers.

We hold on to money.

We hold on to our thoughts.
We hold on to our illusions.

We hold on to our gods.
We hold on to our bodies.
We hold on to our lives.

Release the things that block your path.

If it is necessary to put away the memories, go....

Talk of real security, of deeper joy, of true happiness, of peace of mind.

Keep your hope alive.

Permit yourself to be free from an overresponsible sense of obligation, duty or requirement to make everything 'perfect' in your life & the life of others.

Allow yourself to be able to say 'no' or 'I cant' when faced with insurmountable problems out of your reach.

Accept your powerlessness over things & handling these things over to your Higher Power.

Enhance your self-control.

Don't run the risk of burning out your emotional & physical energy, enthusiasm, spirit, resources & reserves.

Relax & smell the roses.

Have fun.

Tune into your inner child & enjoy life for what it is rather than for how you want it to be.

And I'm about to say heal, let go & move on...

Meet Me Around 7-ish

GT Clan planned to meet at Emerald Avenue around 7-ish last Friday. So I went to bookstore first and found some interesting books like:


Have Glass Slippers, Will Travel Destination: Prince Charming
Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting
Blink
Change Your Shoes, Change Your Life
Not Even a Hint
Fight Like a Girl
Are You in the Mood?
Maggie Without a Clue
The Trouble with Valentine's Day
Hello, It's Me
Fire Me Up
The Other Side of the Story
Love - A User's Guide
A Pair Like No Otha'
He Loves Lucy
Hot Stuff
For Pete's Sake
Bad Boys to Go
Special of the Day
Full Bloom
Hot Tamara
Plain Brown Wrapper
A Perfect Divorce
Under the Boardwalk
Good Woman Blues
Flirting with Danger
Split Ends
Who You Know?
It Had to Be You
Always the Bridesmaid
Little Earthquakes
Frangipani
The Three of Us
Tounge in Cheek
Dream Guy
Sex, Lies and Online Dating
The Dominant Blonde
Does She or Doesn't She?
Rules for a Pretty Woman
Princess Charming
Original Cyn
Ready or Not? When 'I Do' Becomes 'I Don't Know'
Playing House
Help Wanted, Desperately
Persuading Annie
Charmed Thirds
Alternative to Sex
Kissing in the Technicolor
A Little Help from Above
Claire Voyant
The Bachelorette Party


Then proceeded to chapel after since it's first Friday. It was almost 8pm when I reached 7-11 and no one's there. I texted Ricko if it has been cancelled and he says "No naman. Actually, we're on our way."

So I decided to eat dinner first since little bears and big bears on my stomach are already fighting, hehe! I opted for their siomai meal with sauteed mixed vegetables ans a large cup of four seasons. No good, I swear. I texted Jar, she can't come 'coz she's stucked at work. Frietz say, he'll follow.

Good enough that I decided to bring Yano's Alamat ng Gubat by Bob Ong. It was exactly I finished reading the book when I saw Dan & Berna coming my way at 9pm. We decided to transfer outside but to no avail, there hasn't been enough space for us since Voltz came with his gf - Miko.

The five of us headed to Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf at Jar's park. After awhile, Ricko & Thea arrived and so with Honey. Then Chris, Relene & Patrick. We saw Bley with a guy and even have a short talk with her when I went to the bathroom.

Honey and I went off at 2am. And again, thanks for the ride sis! She dropped me off at Galleria but I have to walk pa up to Poveda for me to have a ride.

Was too tired and sleepy when I reached house at 2:30am. Just drank yakult, changed to my white abercrombie super shorts, removed my hollister striped long-sleeves and left my old navy light blue lace camisole. Whoa, hello my pooh comforter!

Nice hangin' out with you guys!


Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Amusing Tidbits

Gosh, for how many days na that I've been eating instant champorado, huh! I even asked Deanne if there's a way I can flush out of my system my immense cravings for sweets.

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I received a text from Albert last Tuesday. Actually, it's just a funny message. Just the same, I'm happy that he remembered me.


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Riza went home last Saturday night with a Siamese cat named Yookie in a creamy / brown color with a gray smoky eyes. Jello's mom gave it to her. But Donna Queen - my ultra-daldal ampon / alaga opted to call her Cat-cat instead.


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Divine who's seven-month pregnant met with us - Mam Cez, Mam Beck & Rica at Wendy's Berkeley Square last July 30. Since it's raining hard, I just put on my black bermuda shorts, mocha lace ribboned camisole, white beaded flip-flops & my ever dependable furry cat-calling rust-colored jacket. We went to John's birthday afterwards at Filinvest & enjoyed his lechon de leche, carbonara, lumpiang shanghai, black forest & our recollection of memories during our high school years.


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As I search for Riza's receipt on her newly purchased black Girbaud bag that costs a thousand bucks, I saw two bars of Snickers. I shared it with my bro & Donna who's still up at 2am. Afterwhich, she opted to sleep beside me.


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I found my old Elle pink transparent organizer while looking for something. And came across my post break-up draft letter to Renz last year 2002. Funny thing is, it's stated in the letter that I'm going out with Mike for me to recover immediately. Gosh! It's just 4 years ago I don't even remember who Mike is...

Will I Also Meet Five People on My Way to Heaven?

I've been hearing so much bout this book.

They say, "It'll make you cry..."

Well, won't believe till I found it for myself...

I did cry.

I was so moved when Edward finally met his last and 5th person in heaven.

I strongly recommend this for those who often felt that they're unimportant.

Realize how much you’ve mattered, how much you were loved….

Now, I've been askin' myself...will I also meet five people in heaven?

Indeed, heaven can be found in the most unlikely corners.

We don’t have to die just to see a glimpse of heaven.

According to the book, “There are five people we meet in heaven. Each of them were in our lives for a reason. Each of them has a thing to teach us. We may not have known the reason at the time, and that is what heaven’s for…For understanding our lives on earth.”

“That there are no random acts. That we are all connected. The human spirit knows, deep down, that all lives intersect. That death doesn’t just take someone…it misses someone else. And in the small distance between being taken & being missed, lives are changed.”

“There’s a balance to it all. One withers, another grows. Birth & death are part of a whole. That explains why we’re drawn to babies..and to funerals.”

“People think of heaven as a paradise garden, a place where they can float on clouds and laze in rivers & mountains.”

“This is the greates gift God can give us: to understand what happened in our lives. To have it explained. It is the peace we’ve been searching for.”

“No life is a waste. The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone.”

“Dying is not the end of everything. We think, it is. But what happens on earth is only the beginning.”

“We wake up the next morning and have a fresh new world to start & work with, but we have something else, too. We have our yesterdays. And that’s what heaven is for. We gotta make sense of our yesterdays.”

“You’ll have peace when you make it with yourself.”

SACRIFICE. “We all make them. But you were angry over yours. You kept thinking about what you lost. Sacrifice is a part of life. It’s supposed to be. It’s not something to regret. It’s something to aspire. Little ones or big.”

“Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We often think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who’ve harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.”

“Forgive…”

“No one is born with anger. And when we die, the soul is freed of it.”



For those who have been damaged by neglect and violence;

For those who were denied from affection;

For those who have lost their loved ones; hope, career & freedom;

For those who were mistreated;

For those who haven’t experienced tenderness in life;

For those who were agitated, embarrased, whacked, lashed & beaten;

For those who were disappointed, lost & adrift, lonely & desperate;

For those who were shutted out, misunderstood;

For those in pains and in doubts;

For those who were driven by anger & hatred;

This story is for you….

You’ll learn here the value of fair judgment;

Sacrifice;

Loyalty;

Devotion;

Picking yourself up;

Forgiveness;

Surrendering all your barriers;

And the greastest of ‘em all, LOVE!

I assure you, after reading this, the pain & weariness you held inside will vanish…

Every scar, every wound, every bad memory….

Eternal Optimism

Was watchin’ TV when I came across a Prime Shift airing ‘Sex & The City’.

I was never a Sarah Jessica Parker fan but you can count me in now.

The episode tackled ‘Eternal Optimism’.

We should stop being cynical.

We shouldn’t entertain negative thoughts.

We should expect & welcome love because we deserve it.

Believe that the good things are yet to come.

Believe it will come your way.

Believe that there’s something good in every people you meet.

Have a genuine & deep belief in the Core of Life being beautiful, eternal & abundant.

People are beautiful…with inherent kindness.

People’s best interests are at hearts.

Even up to this chaotic days, true human spirit still abides.

It is everywhere, everywhere we go…

Yet human nature yearns to be free.


Effervescent, the human spirit ever bubbles up, always bringing new life, new hope, caring, concern, love and laughter.

Ain't Love A Bitch?

“Kung takot kang masaktan…mas takot akong saktan ka…”

Such a baduy, corny line from a teen flick but that made me re-appraise my relationships.

Past relationships, I mean.

First, I had Wally at 14. He was 19 then & a drug dependent. My bestfriend-protector. We were getting along so well when I’ve found out that he had a long-time girlfriend in the province. And so I gave way. I even met with the girl – Glenda. Whew, such an early heartbreak!

Second, I got Edward. Product of a broken home, a problem child. Palaki ng lola. Never an acquiantance, never a friend. My friends don’t like him for me. Hindi daw kami bagay. Pabaya sa studies, sakit ng ulo. But he’ve proven them wrong coz during our time, he makes an effort to study harder, for me…..
Am tellin’ you, it was an against all odds relationship. My friends even hurted him physically. At yun ang hindi ko na kakayanin. When he transferred to other school, I was the last to know. Sobrang hurting..pero mas mabuti na yun, matatahimik na kami pareho. When I’ve found out that he had to undergo a serious surgical operation, I’ve compromised with Him na kahit hindi na kami magkita basta ma-survive niya ung operation. Luckily he did, but as to this date, we still haven’t seen each other.

Then came Macky. A rich spoiled-brat kiddo. I was the one who taught him the value of hard-work. The value of earning his own money. At first, he’s complaining but I know he’d forever be grateful to me for that. But when he’ve encountered some family problems, he started neglecting me. Sabi niya, he’ll just fix things up & ako yung una niyang pupuntahan. Eventually, naayos. But I haven’t heard of him after.


The longest & first serious relationship I had was 4 years – with Renz. Sa kanya ko naranasan yung feeling na – I wanna take care of him all my life. Sa kanya ko din naranasan how it is to be pampered like a baby – maybe it has to do with our 11-year ge gap.
I’d stopped counting how may times he’ve proposed marriage & how many times I’ve rejected him. Andami ko pang dreams na gustong ipursue – ng single. But as we all knew, good things tend not to lasts…After 4 years of waiting, he asked me for the last time if I’m willing ba to spend our lives na magkasama - being a good daughter that I was – I said no….
Minsan, siya yung gusto kong sisihin for all my failed relationships after him. Lahat ng hinahanap ko dapat naka-pattern sa kanya. His age,intellect, his sense & maturity, his authority over me (matigas kasi ulo ko). Above all, his affection. The way he protects me from all the harshness of the world. Kaya siguro, antagal bago ako naka-recover.

Two years of struggle, I decided to give it a try with Gio. We gotta same age. Good-looking pero immature. Temperamental, moody & demanding. Hindi rin kami nagtagal. It only lasted seven months. He’s trying to reconcile with me, kaya lang I know that once a commitment-phobe will always be a commitment-phobe.

Then, Alvin. Sabi nila, you’d feel if he’s ‘the one’. I felt it with him. It was an instant attraction. Sobra kaming ok, magkasundo kami sa lahat ng bagay except my haircut, huh! Pinagtitiyagaan nyakong ihatid sa QC from his work sa Makati, then, uuwi sa kanila sa Laguna. He’d been very open to me sa mga girls who’ve been involved with him. He is 7 years older than me. We were really happy at the rate things are goin’ until I felt there’s something goin’ wrong. When I confronted him, he would always say – pagod lang dami kasing work, may problema lang sa house. Until I couldn’t take it anymore. I really tried to made him paamin what was goin’ on. To my surprise – he said ‘women….’
Kung ‘woman’ lang, baka kayanin ko pa. But when he said, it was plural, no way!
Sabi niya, babalikan nya’ko, aayusin niya lang – like what Macky have said. He won’t come back to me unless things were settled between his women & me.

We haven't reconciled but he still pays me ‘courtesy visit’. He still texts once in awhile…

Naka-mind set nakong mg-Christmas mag-isa last year when Ric started texting agin. Siya yung guy na madalas naming pag-awayan ni Alvin. He was super jealous with Ric nung kami pa. When in fact, he’s nothing but a close friend. He’s at Qatar, btw. He starts to fall for me kaya lang natakot ako..
How if it didn't worked? Sayang naman ung friendship.Ready na ba kami to move a step higher? Kaya ba naming dalawa ang pressures ng long distance relationship?
We both decided not to pursue it.
But just the same, it ruined our friendship. And none of us tries to communicate.

Don't let yours end in failure.

I've got my chance but I blew it away.

Learn from them.

Let go of your past experiences.

Realize there's something good in store for you.

After the dust has settled, think more clearly & recognize the futulity of starting over again.

And now, it's time to move on...

Don't even ask: Ain't Love a Bitch?

"What do you get when you fall in love,
Nothing but lots of pain and sorrow;
So, for at least until tomorrow,
I'll never fall in love again."
-Here we go again.....

-- And now that I'm trying to take chance on someone, sana hindi nyako pabayaan...